What I want.
I'm sitting in my bedroom just thinking about life lived and still yet to be lived. I'm overwhelmed by all God has saved me from and strengthened me through. I've been given more than i deserve. Been trusted with more than I've earned. And been changed more than I ever could have dreamed.
Even still, I'm fatally flawed. I'm so humbled that God would want to know, redeem, converse with, and live within/beside me. I feel so unworthy, yet validated by his value and worth placed on me.
As I think about my past, I'm thankful that He is so patient and faithful. So many times I've been selfish and incredibly temporally minded...so consumed with what is around me that I completely forget the larger and more pressing realities of eternity and all that implies.
So, what do I want? Quite simply, to reflect, to radiate Christ. I'm too aware that the fruit of Taka and the fruit of the spirit are too often a world apart. If God is love, I want to be love as well. I want to get out of the way so that Christ's attributes crash through. So that those around can know what God is like...that He is still love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control.
At this moment, I'm so consumed with the idea that I want to be consumed by Him. Not in an out of touch way, but rather in a way that is absolutely, 100% in touch with the creator and in sync with His creative order.
I want Christ to be alive in me.